Mompreneur – Connie Benjamin

Mompreneur & Connector of People

Sep 18, 2021

Mompreneur Success – Balancing Priorities & Self-Care

Connie Benjamin is a best-selling author, connector of people, and successful mompreneur. Mompreneurs are no different than most entrepreneurs. We are either driven towards our passion or just completely burn out. Do women really need to live up to society’s social norms in order to be successful mompreneurs? How should women act? speak? Perfection is a universal standard that many women deal with due to the images society presents to them at a young age. The word got so romanticized by society that doing such messy things would hindrance the ideal life that everyone is looking forward to. 

Connie Benjamin, a best-selling author, international speaker, mompreneur, podcast host, and connector of people, shares what it means to create power from within. Entrepreneurship brings its own challenges. When we feel stressed out we tend to shut off and disconnect from people and our loved ones. 

For many women Entrepreneurs, mompreneurs, their first priority must be their children, followed by business and extended family and time for self. Women tend to put themselves last and prioritize other things first.  That’s particularly a challenge when one loves being a connector of people.

F- creator First

I- Inspired self-care

R- Relationship

E- Engaging with your kids

The Connector of People, Connie Benjamin

Key takeaways: 

  • Use burnout for good, burnout to reignite passion. Burnout is bad when it results from putting pressure on yourself.
  • What you do is less important than the relationships between you and your clients, your connections
  • Perfection, contrary to the word itself can cause ugly outcomes.
  • When we step out in faith, the stepping stones appear before us. And it’s almost like we’ve become a partner with the divine. We will not see the end from the beginning..
  • Surround yourself with the right circle of people for increased results and productivity.
  • Sometimes it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be done.

Connect with Connie Benjamin

Website: https://myfirewithin.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connie.benjamin.50
Twitter: https://twitter.com/myfirewithin_
LinkedIn: http://bit.ly/2tf0qv5LinkedInConnieBenjamin

Connect with Cheryl Hodgson:   

Website: brandaide.com 
Book: https://registeredtrademarkbook.com 
Twitter:  twitter.com/brandaide 
Facebook:  facebook.com/brandaide 
Email:  cheryl@brandaide.com 
Show: brandrevolution.show 
YouTube: youtube.com/user/BrandaideTV 
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/cherylhodgson 
Instagram:  instagram.com/brandaide

Today on the Brand Revolution Podcast: "I believe that that when we get past that comparison trap and we step into and remember who we are, that's when our fire can light up others and the world."

Cheryl Hodgson

Welcome to Brand Revolution, where we answer the question, what does it take to launch your own brand revolution, create evolution, and who are the people that help you foster connection, community contribution and currency for a brand to build to last, you will also meet brands changing the world and the lives of those they serve. here's your host, Cheryl Hodgson. Today's guest on the brandade podcast is Connie Benjamin. Connie is a number one international best-selling author of women with fire. She's an international speaker and podcast hosts, Connie will share with us today how she realized that women entrepreneurs who want to live their purpose through entrepreneurship without losing their family or themselves needed a system on just how to do it. We'll learn from Connie, just what that system is.

Welcome, everyone. I'm here with my guest, Connie Benjamin. And Connie is here to share with women entrepreneurs and men entrepreneurs. What does it mean to have power from within? So Connie, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Cheryl, it is amazing to be here. Well, it's amazing to have you and I just love the whole topic of power within. And could you share with me and the audience a little bit more about the power within and what it stands for and how it came to be? How to salutely Cheryl, it really it starts with a crazy story. So can I begin with a crazy story. I love crazy stories. I have many of my own.

Connie Benjamin

So Oh my goodness. So it actually started with shattered glass. And I'll tell you what got me there. So I was I was in a job that I loved. And Cheryl, I loved helping people. It was a great job. But I wanted to be home with my little girl. And so I remember going driving in my car on my way to work and just crying all the way there, trying to pull myself together, pretending like I was not crying all the way there. Go in there and finish up my day. And I'd get home. And I realized that our home that we had put all of our savings into was in an area of town that was massively unsafe. And so I knew I had to move. But Cheryl, we did not have enough money to move. I didn't know how to do it. And so I had to start a business. But I knew nothing about business at all. So so green about business. And so I had to learn. And I began learning I began getting mentors and that sort of thing. And I eventually, I got some success in the business. And so we moved I still remember the day walking to our new place, opening up the door, my little girl skipping across the kitchen, going out into the backyard with the trees everywhere. And I felt like I did it. I won this is amazing. But Cheryl, what I didn't know then is I was actually about to lose everything that mattered most. Because I had been grinding so hard in my business. I have been working day and night in my business, that I was so disconnected from my husband, we were like roommates, the passion had gone out of our relationship. I felt stressed out as a mom, my being that fire I felt it in my role as a mom was almost completely out of my health was massively deteriorating. So I was just on lit. And I remember being in a everything came to a head one day, I was in my office, and I was late for an interview and I had a million things on my to do list. My husband was mad at me because we got into a fight. My daughter was outside the office door screaming and having a temper tantrum. And I felt like the entire world was falling in on my shoulders. And I don't know if you've ever felt so stressed out. You can't even think clearly. But oh, never.

That's where I was at. And so I was in a moment of complete, disorganized overwhelm. I picked up a glass and I threw it at the wall. And I remember looking down at Shattered Glass all around my feet and realizing that's how I felt. And so in that moment Cheryl, "I said I will not live like this. Connie Benjamin, you have to find a way to be lit up." And that's what sent me on a quest to figure it out. I found a mentor that taught me about these fire principles that changed my life and helped me to fall in love with my husband again and to enjoy being a mom and to take care of myself. And then after talking to many entrepreneurs, both women and men, I realized that my story was not new or unique, that for me it was a broken glass but for other people it was a moment of frustration. Or a moment in their relationship where things were falling apart or whatever it was. And so I realized I had to write the book. So I wrote women with fire. My husband and I, for the last decade have been supporting women and men that are married and working together in their business and how to be lit up in the bedroom and in their business, because well, that's a challenge.

Cheryl Hodgson

I had a former husband, that was my law partner Need I say more? On the word former, and this was many years ago, but I, I wasn't very good at it. And I certainly didn't have somebody like you to help mentor me and deal with the issues that arose in that kind of trying to work with somebody and live with them and be with them 24 hours a day, it has its own unique set of challenges and rewards, right?

Connie Benjamin

Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I'm grateful that you shared that because, like our marriage, we almost lost our marriage in the midst of all of it. I mean Cheryl, we were very, very disconnected. And I think that, that that is something that a lot of entrepreneurs face, and not many people are talking about. But it's a challenge in how to keep that passion alive while you're building a business and keep that passion in the business as well. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, especially if you're in something for the long haul, you know, we all I don't know you, you talked a minute ago, which I really related to, to you said, you know, you didn't know anything about business, and you just dove in? Well, I think that's true.

Cheryl Hodgson

Most anybody that launches a business unless they come out of corporate America and have some specialization, but even then, you know, if you haven't run your own business, you know, unless you've got somebody standing over your shoulder, you don't know any of it, and you learn by doing and making mistakes, and hopefully not big ones, you know, but I certainly went that that was my law practice. There was nobody there to really hold my hand once I went out on my own. You know, even now, I'm felt like, Don't you feel like every day, there's some new Oh, my God, I have to learn this software. Oh, do I?

Connie Benjamin

There's some new thing to know all the time. It's so true.An d I think that's why this conversation is so important, because there is so much to learn. I mean, as as entrepreneurs, we're juggling so many hats. I mean, we got to learn some I love that you talk about branding in your you know, your podcast is all about that, because we need to know branding, and then you specialize in the trademarking, we need to know that like that, we need to have experts to guide us through all of these things, because we can't possibly know it all. And I think that there, because we do need to become experts and build a team and gather together the people that can help us like you. It's so important for us to have that awareness because it can be quite a pressure. And when we understand that, and we begin to go, Okay, so how dealing with this massive pressure, and knowing that we do need to learn so many different things. How do we stay lit up and not let that fire get burnt out? burn us? Because of all the things that we're juggling? And you'd asked earlier? Like, what does that fire being lit up mean?

Cheryl Hodgson

And exactly like you're talking about right here, it's really about being able to learn those things in a way that keeps us lit up and excited about it instead of burnt out. Yeah, well, and and we're going to talk more about your process in a minute. But I also want to touch upon because Don't you think we as women have some unique challenges in terms of our own?

The way we speak to ourselves and the pressures we put on ourselves, that some of it comes from society as well, the way we're conditioned and trained. I know, I certainly had the two things that held me back for a really long time was number one, I have to be perfect. I have to do if I it's not perfect. I can't put the book out there. If it's not perfect. And then you know, what will people think of me? Oh, my God, if I don't do it good enough, right. There's that aspect. And then there's also the Lone Ranger syndrome, which for me was a challenge because of some, you know, childhood origin issues, which hopefully I've overcome now. But you know, where it's like, well, you know, I have to do all this myself. I can't ask for help.

Connie Benjamin
Yes, it's so true. Oh, my gosh, I love that you're talking about this Cheryl, because it's so true. And and when I talk about them, I talk about the extinguishers of fire because just like you talk about every single woman deals with these things. I mean, every single person I've ever interviewed talks about this, this is universal. And so and things like self doubt and things like feeling discouraged

Cheryl Hodgson

And beating ourselves up and feeling like we have to be perfect is such a weight on women. I have to talk about that I'm a recovering perfectionist.

Connie Benjamin

You know, it takes, it really is a, there's a weight to that, because this role of entrepreneurship. It's this crazy journey of, we need to be willing to learn and to stretch ourselves and grow. And that requires, I don't know about you. But for me, that requires a lot of failure, and running my head into the wall and making mistakes and right, and you have to be able to pick yourself up and go. Okay, tomorrow's another day. And I learned the lesson, and I'll do it better next time. I'll get it right the next time. Yes. Well, I mean, as you know, I have to share this through my own personal life experience. And I remember this, and I'm not proud of it. But I remember when I was in my late 20s and early 30s. And that was when my, my husband and I became law partners in my early 30s. And I don't think I was a very good person to be around, in fairness to him, you know, I had this perfectionist thing. And it was like, I had to have the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect Law Office, everything had to be perfect. Well, you know, that's not just a lot of pressure on you. That's not easy to be around.

Cheryl Hodgson

I mean, you know, sometimes you got to go with the flow and things aren't perfect, you know? And you've got to laugh about it and go, "Okay, well, so the kitchens a mess," or so the whatever, you know what I mean? It's, and there's that aspect, and I now that I'm older, I'm like, you have to mellow out, otherwise, you can't continue, you'll burn out which I've done that too. But, you know, when I came out of the burnout and tried to readjust the way I think about things and the pressure to be more accepting about life

Connie Benjamin

Oh, that's so powerful. Oh, my gosh, I can relate so strongly to what you're talking about. Yeah, I know, and it's amazing that something so beautiful, like you want things to be perfect, you want things to be good. I mean, that's a beautiful attribute, there's something to that about a quality of standards and and striving for excellence, that's so there's something beautiful about that. And yet I love how you share about that, that if it goes too far, it can hurt us. And that's what I experienced too, is when I was dealing with, you know, perfection, I wanted perfection in my marriage, I wanted perfection in my business with my kids. Don't even get me started as a parent and the module that comes along with that, that could be an entire episode. Oh, I'm sure it could be. But you know, the crazy thing is when I think about being lit up, and what really that fire within means is I love how you talked about that. It's this. There's a level of trust, and a level of humor about life like that, when I'm, when I'm in a place of perfectionism, I don't feel as much joy. But when I step in when I feel that fire lit within, I could be talking to the world expert in something and I make a mistake, and I can laugh about it. Or I could be connecting with my husband. And just this, romantic situation that should be so romantic and beautiful. And yet, you know, I do something ridiculous. And you can laugh about it. And sometimes those it's these beautiful messes that really make up that fire within when we're trusting in ourselves when we're trusting the people around us. And we're truly about connecting and trusting with the divine as well.

Cheryl Hodgson

Absolutely. I'd like to ask you, can you share a little bit more about how, once you found that mentor, and you started shifting? What were the steps you went through? And how do you work with women now and helping them deal with those kinds of voices within-- self-sabotage and perfectionism?

Connie Benjamin

Absolutely. I think the the first thing well, we use the my fire within system, which is what I learned and actually what I adapted from what I learned. Because one thing that I found is that when we start applying it in the world of being a woman entrepreneur, sometimes there's some tweaks that needed to be made. And so are the fire within system is really about one lighting our own fire and, and being able to overcome the times when those are those extinguishers of fire, which I call them, which are really the things that like, put out that drive that makes us feel overwhelmed, stressed out, burnt out and frustrated. How to overcome some of those things. So that's the first thing light our own fire, and then light the fire in our relationship. Because when we can get that lit up, then we can step into lighter message and powerfully move forward there but so a couple ways that I work with people is it's really about using the entire my within system. And one of the things that I support women with is something called fire priorities. Now for me this is something that's made a massive difference in my life.

It's not the entire system. But it's absolutely something people can start applying to date. So you can apply this right here right now. So Cheryl, do you mind if I just dive into it?

Cheryl Hodgson

That's why you're here.

Connie Benjamin

Well, one of the biggest challenges that entrepreneurs face, both women and men, is work-life balance. And we know that work-life balance is the biggest challenge that women are not just women entrepreneurs face. The other thing that we're seeing is that entrepreneurs have are actually five to 10%, more likely to experience divorce because of the pressures of being an entrepreneur. So we need to understand that man, this is our biggest challenge that we're dealing with, and we need to be aware of we're at risk for dealing with, you know, struggles in the relationship, how can we get support around that? So this is one of the things that has been most powerful in, in doing that, when implemented correctly. So I'll just dive into it. And by the way, before I knew about this, I totally felt stressed out, overwhelmed, burnt out, and frustrated. So Cheryl, oftentimes what happens in especially I'll speak from the women entrepreneurs perspective, but this works for both women and men, just how we approach it is a little bit different. So from a women entrepreneurs' perspective, often what happens when we're balancing our priorities is we have them completely out of whack. Now, when I say the world balance, I just mean like having our priorities in order that lifts up, the system strengthens us. And so often what happens is, we feel like we've got a time management problem. The kids won't just Listen, problem, co-workers just suck a little bit problem is driving me crazy problem. The neighbors are just annoying problems. Like we think we have all these other problems when in reality, if we can just shift our perspective around priorities, a lot of things fall into place.

So for women entrepreneurs, what usually happens is when we when we prioritize things, usually what goes first is our kids, if we've got kids, then our business or and then business and then everybody else, like our extended family or friends, everyone else, then our partner if we have a partner, and then ourselves. And if you think about that for a moment, I know for me when that's kind of a default way of prioritizing. When I fell into that, Cheryl, I felt burnt out, stressed out overwhelmed, and I was resentful of everyone in my family. And I can totally relate to that. Right. And probably like a five-kilometer radius around my house, I probably would just include them in that resentment, like was slipping under my door, Cheryl. Yeah, it's crazy. So and you can see that I mean, an experience with my health with the challenges I faced in my relationship like it was just all over the place.

But when we can understand how to have our priorities in a way that lights that fire within lights us up, that fire is contagious, and I mean it in a good way. This is the stuff that helps that fire within to light up, the people around us not get burned. So that's the cool thing. This lights them up, it doesn't allow us to get burned. So how to do that I use fire priorities. And this is basically how it works. It's an acronym because I love acronyms they help us remember. So the F stands for first creator. And that basically means that means putting the creator first making sure that we have that connection to the divine. Because I don't know about you, Cheryl. But I can't do this lifetime by myself. I've tried for you know, over 30 years, it didn't work out so well for me.

Cheryl Hodgson

I need some help there. So whatever context that means for people, whether that's for you, maybe that's meditation or prayer or just talking to the divine or whatever that is, but some sort of connection. Well, I just you know, before you move on, I just want to interject briefly because I was thinking about it as you were talking and you gave me the perfect opportunity to mention it. I was actually feeling that way, the last two or three weeks, you know, because I moved not once but twice in the last eight months, major moves. And so I've just moved two months ago and my business and my law practice is very, very busy. And I'm very grateful given the way the state of the world is for many people today. So but I'm very very busy and I realized I have not been getting any exercise. I haven't been walking, I haven't ridden my bike. I haven't meditated. So last week, I did a five-day meditation challenge with a yoga teacher I've studied with for over 20 years. And it was just the discipline of being disciplined to take that time every day and begin my day that way. And the difference in how my day unfolded, the ease and grace with which I felt I could move through it was just remarkable. And so it also is a discipline, finding a practice that helps you do that, you know, and making it a priority. And like you say, it could be meditation, it could be prayer, whatever label works for you, and our method.

Connie Benjamin

I love that so much. Thank you so much for sharing that Cheryl. I can so relate to that. And it is so true. When you have these fire priorities in order, there's a level of flow, a letter level of grace that happens in our life. And I'd love to hear from your listeners to art. We would love to have everybody go over to share their experiences with us Have any of you ever felt burned out, over and unsupported by others around you and feeling as if you have to do it all alone and be perfect? We'd love to hear your stories. So head on over to the Podopolo. And you can download it and we'd love to hear your comments. That would be amazing. I love that we could connect people through Podopolo. That's awesome. And Cheryl, I can so relate to what you're talking about. Absolutely. Oh, man, it's so powerful. You know, you're gonna love this next one. So okay, in fire, priorities stand for inspired self-care. And they use that wording very intentionally. So inspired self-care. I'm not talking about the kind of self-care where you got the like, cucumbers on our eyeballs. I really don't know anybody that does that.

Cheryl Hodgson

I know. I don't mean either. It's always in a magazine, some magazine that makes us think we're supposed to do that.

Connie Benjamin

Maybe one day someone will come up to me, it's the greatest thing. Maybe I'll try it, I don't know. But I'm talking about the kind of self-care that fuels your soul that makes you feel expanded and lit up. Listen, when you were describing your story, you were saying, exercise and meditation and yoga. Those are the things that light you up. So making sure that comes first. Because the reality is in our business and with our partner as well. When we have that fire lit within us we are we're more likely to be able to connect and be more creative and be able to be more productive as well. Don't you think just getting away from the doing and into the beam, as I like to say for even a brief period of time on a consistent basis, suddenly, you know, that connection to the divine or creative source? You'll draw ideas drop in for your business. Oh, I should think about this, or I had I forgot about that. And, oh, I should connect these two people or, you know, you just get better ideas.

Yes, absolutely. I love it. So the R in fire priority stands for responsibility. And Cheryl, what that's really about is recognizing that we have a responsibility. Oh, sorry, got that mixed up with the other part. Sorry. That's actually fire goals, which I'm really passionate about too. But this one is actually about relationship in fire priorities. It's about relationship with your partner. So when we're in a relationship with our partner, it's all about how can we connect for a really short period of time, but truly connect with one another. I know for my husband, Andy and I, we would go through the entire workday. We'd be sitting beside each other we'd both be working. And yet, we felt like we're miles apart. I felt like we were roommates. It was just crazy. And so how can we connect really powerfully. And I'll tell you a quick story about that in a minute. And the E in fire priority stands for engaged kids. And again, that word is very intentionally. If we have kids in our life, engaging with our kids being present, it really doesn't take long, a minute of true presence and engagement goes a really long way. So if it's alright, I'd love to tell you a story. Can I tell you sir? Ah, like I said my love story. Okay, so when I learned this Cheryl, I was thinking, Okay, I don't have time for this.

You know, I was thinking this I'm already busy. I'm already stressed out. How am I going to do this? And sometimes when I share this with people, they'll look at me like that. Connie Benjamin. I don't have time for one more thing. Can you just like lay off on the on one more thing for me to do. But I believe that that happens because we have a misunderstanding in our culture, that we think we need these big, huge blocks of time to do these things. And I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about moments of connection. So for example, here it was, Cheryl, I just learned this principle. And so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. But then I got busy with my day. So I'm standing at the kitchen counter, and I'm doing dishes. And my husband, Andy walks behind me, and he's about to go to work. And normally, I just like call over my shoulder and be like, have a good day, honey, like I always did, and he'd go to work. But this day, I remembered this principle. And so he goes, and he's got his hand just about on the doorknob, and I grabbed the dish towel, I dry my hands off, and I run to the door, and I grabbed that boy, and I kissed him within an inch of his life. And he's looking at me with these butterfly eyelashes. And I got him like he is His heart is in my hand. And he says, what was that for, and I said, "I just love you, have an amazing day." And it was like his chest was puffed out, he was man spreading down the street. He kept sending me love texts of the day, how much more productive was he in art his day, and me in my day, like it made all the difference, I felt loved and connected, he felt loved and connected. And it took a minute, these are just moments of decision that change everything.

Cheryl Hodgson

And, that's very powerful. What comes up for me when you share that is, and I know you're focusing in the context of relationships. But I see that same concept, evident in my own life, not only in relationships with people, but in relationship to the work and the task I'm involved in. Because when I've got all this stuff in my head, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I got the to do list that oh, my God, oh, you know, like, I'm spinning out. But then when I have, particularly when it comes up, when I have some kind of court filing do because that's not my favorite thing to be doing all the time anymore. And I've done it for so many years. But I still have to, it's like, I can't successfully engage to create a good work product for my client. If I've got all this stuff going on, I've got to be present with the task 100%. It's the the relationship I have to the task at hand, whether it's washing dishes, or you know, and even the most mundane can take on a bit of. I hate to word use the word spiritual because I'm not sure that's really it, but a presence and a connection, to relaxing into the moment and being with it, but being profoundly present. And it changes the outcome to just like what it did with your husband, you took a moment, and you went right into it. 1,000%. And the connection was there.

Connie Benjamin

I love that so much. It's so true. It's almost like when we get lit up when we are truly feeling that, that that presence, that connection, and I love how you talk about the task. Because this is so true. It's in everything that we do, if we do this with, when we're on an interview, if we do this, when we're when we're engaging in those that paperwork, or the filing or whatever it is, it completely changes the result. It's almost like, and that's why I'm so passionate about fire within because I truly believe it. It's like it illuminates the, it illuminates the path in front of us, we can see clearer, we can connect better. It's just it changes everything.

Cheryl Hodgson

Well, I've certainly still have this issue with we're human, you know, but I'm more aware of it, at least I think I've come I've come a long way baby. But there's this, you know, we as humans tend to be thinking about the past or the future, you know, you'll be having a conversation with somebody. And that's actually one of the things I love most about being in podcasts because it's an opportunity to be present one on one with someone, which I just totally love, right? And not thinking about what's going to come next Am I thinking about the past, I'm trying to be present in the moment. And that that is that's the power to create the future. And, you know, you hear a lot metaphysical terms and but really the only moment The past is over. We can't change it. The future hasn't yet come but the only thing that impacts the future that we want to create is the actions that we take in the instance and then the next one and the next one and the next one. So you know like I think you're what you're sharing I'm what I'm hearing is to some extent that the lighting the fire within is a way to help you stay really present.

And connected in your own life so that you have more and more of those moments as you move through the task, whether it's building your business, your relationship with your husband, your children. Yeah. And we don't always get it perfect, right? We're going to have some moments where, you know, we have to regroup.

Connie Benjamin

Absolutely. And in fact, we're not supposed to get it perfect. That's the whole point. That's so powerful that you talk about that. Because the whole point of it is, is that that it does make that the path of our life, more connecting, more joyful, no matter what's going on. And it doesn't mean it's perfect. It means there are these moments of joy in the midst of all the chaos. I mean, you think about it for a second, think about what's happening in the world, there's so much going on in the world. But when, like you talked about when we can be in this conversation, I mean, I just feel so lit up, I'm so excited to talk to you, it's this moment in time, that is so beautiful. And that is what happens in our life. And it doesn't mean it's perfect. And it doesn't mean we don't face financial challenges or relationship challenges. That's another thing that people think relationships just shouldn't have any challenges will oh my gosh, that's wrong. It's gonna have it and that's okay. But it allows us to become who we need to be to face those and keep going keep looking for that next step that will become illuminated. If we just get back up and get back up fast.

Cheryl Hodgson

One of my things was that it was aspect of the need to be perfect that I would think, well, I can't really launch my book yet. And I'll never forget this, I have a client who I just adore representing her. Her name is Denise Linn. She's one of the Hay House authors. And I will never I went through several of her programs, one of which was called Soul Coaching. And you spent five days on her ranch in residence, and there would be like a group of 15 or 20 of us there. And I'll never forget, she taught and I just finally published a book, which I'm quite proud of last September. But eight or nine years ago, I remember her looking me in the eye and she said, "Cheryl, it doesn't have to be perfect, but it does have to get done." And you know, and that took me another six or eight years to get past that perfection problem. I know you're very big at connecting people. I mean, that's one of your big things. You're just amazing at it. And so it's wonderful. But,I don't know if you've ever experienced that when you went through that burnout, and that period of challenge, as you discovered this whole process that helped turn things around for you. And now your clients.

There was this aspect of it for me that it was like, Well, you know, I don't know how I'm going to do all this, how am I going to make it work, and so you don't start. And then once you begin, if you have the courage to take that first step, and you're doing it from a place of, just be open to the possibilities. And when I finally realized when I reached burnout, my law practice was, which I did about eight or nine years ago, I was I was done, you know, I had been slogging it out in a man's profession primarily for many years, struggling to like, feel like I had the opportunity to work at the level which I was capable. And then finally reached a point where I just have to create my own because no one's going to give me that opportunity. Right? I have to create, create it myself. But it's a real powerful moment to be able to just go, Okay, I'm going to have faith and step out and know that I will somehow meet the right person or have the right opportunity. And what transformed it for me is realizing that it's not what I do. It's the relationship and the connection to the people that I get to meet and work with. And for, that's what transformed it for me, because there's this thing and there was a very famous scholar named Martin Buber. He was a Jewish scholar, many years ago. Hhe talked about the "I thou moment," which is the sacred connection where you connect with another human being, which is the eye and the vow connecting right as human beings. And that's, that's what lights me up, you know, to keep my fire going.

Connie Benjamin

It's so amazing. That is so amazing. I love that so much and yes, I totally agree. There's so many things that you talked about There was a lot in there. Well, let's unpack it, Cheryl because I am so excited about what you talked about. So one was, how important it is that it is a path of faith. And I really truly believe that when that when we step out on a fire path, I, you know, I always say that we're fire seekers, we seek the fire within ourselves, and we seek the fire within others. And that kind of leads to the connection, and we'll share that in a minute. But when we step on that path of seeking the fire within, we will not feel enough, we won't feel smart enough, we won't feel strong enough, we won't have feel like we have enough connections, enough knowledge enough, you could just go on and on and on. And so that that facing that perfection, that kind of that idea of perfectionism that's trying to hold us back. When we overcome that and we step forward anyway, we become stronger. And the amazing thing is when we I believe that each of us has a purpose within us that is bigger than we can possibly imagine. And when we step out on that path, we're not going to fail enough. And it's not, it's not going to work out the first time. And there's going to be a lot of learning and a lot of falling. But we're gonna fall forward. And that when we fall forward, we become stronger we become, we have to go through those hard moments to become who we need to be to step into the path we need to step into. And when you're describing your journey, I hear that, you know, you faced this really quite discrimination in the workforce, like let's just call it what it is.

And yet, here you are, you created your own practice. Now you did that out of adversity, and I believe that our pain becomes our purpose. And that's what happens when we step out on that fire path, the path the stepping stones appear before us. And it's almost like we've become a partner with the divine. And and we will not see the end from the beginning. But as we step forward, these little tiny miracles appear, and we become stronger than we ever thought we were before. Now the second thing that you said, was about connection and the power of connection. I can't even say it without grinning from ear to ear because I truly believe this world gets better. When we know each other. It literally drives me crazy when I meet someone amazing. And I know that they don't know someone else I know, that's amazing, and literally bothers me, I will wake up at night and be like, Oh my gosh, this person needs to meet this person because they're amazing. And they're both amazing. They're on this incredible journey. And I think there's a reason for that. And it's a bit of a paradigm shift that we're stepping into. And that shift is that when we step into our fire within, when we seek the fire within, and we seek the fire within others, we can't help but all get lit up. It's this righteous circle, you know what I mean?

Cheryl Hodgson

Since we are talking about women entrepreneurship, I can give a shout out to Melinda Wittstock, who's the founder of Podopolo, who we all think the world upof. One of the things that really attracted me to her podcast when I first heard it, and just this inside of me I said, I have to know this person. Because the fact that she brought forth the notion of women empowering other women in business. And for at least 30 years, I've been talking about the fact in my own life. Well, you know, men have first for me, I was in the music business. Well, you know, if I went backstage, I worked for Bill Graham's office in San Francisco, and I had an all-access laminate, I could go to any major show concert he put on. But guess what? When I went backstage, I was primarily the woman that backstage were girlfriends or groupies. So I couldn't walk backstage and be greeted in the same manner as which a man would be right? So there was that, right. My point is, is that women now are supporting each other in business. I didn't have that when I started out, for a very long time. And it's so exciting to me to see that women, By the way, I don't even think it's discrimination, a certain aspect of it. Let's face it, when men play golf with each other on the golf course, or they're in the locker room after the pickup game of basketball, you know, and they start talking about business. They're not thinking about not taking care of women or being inclusive to women. They're just going to refer the business to their buddy, right? And or somebody that they know, right? So I've always said, that men have had a boys' network for years, it's time the girls have a girls' network, not to the exclusion of men. But what's wrong with supporting people of like gender that you, you know, relate to? And who are truly professionals?

Select | Secure | Sustain

My three-step system for a brand

BUILT TO LAST

The Business Owners Guide to Brand Protection reveals my proven three-step system to bullet proof your brand assets online and off, while you build a lasting legacy.